http://www.pressies.org/hostess-gifts-etiquette/
No Gifts Birthday Party–Etiquette?
We’ve been invited to a friend’s birthday party. It’s going to be a cocktail party at his home, organized by his wife. The invitation says, “No Presents Please” in very tiny print at the bottom. This couple is very dear to us and I can’t imagine not taking a gift. My gut tells me that everyone will bring a gift and that the hostess is trying to be nice by saying no presents (she’s the nicest person I know). But I don’t want to offend our friends.
Any thoughts? Take a gift? Ask why she put that on the invite? Go empty-handed?
Thanks for the advice.
mari
When you bring a gift when one has been specifically banned, you risk making those who complied with the hosts’ request feel inadequate. Incidentally, per Miss Manners in “Miss Manners’ Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior”, it is considered poor form to ban gifts, as it appears presumptous of a host to expect payment for hospitality. A kind note following the event is completely appropriate.
Cheap and thoughtful host/hostess gift for a holiday party
