http://www.pressies.org/birthday-gifts-via-internet/
Would this bother you about a friend or would you let it slide?
I met a woman via the Internet 2 years ago. We have so much in common to include premature babies. We exchange e-mails, I’ve called her (she never calls me…ever!), gifts at holidays and birthdays for our children. Last summer, we met for the first time at Chuck E Cheese since we live about 4 hours from each other so she went 2 hours and I went 2 hours. I set it up. The problem is, I set everything up. I contact her and she replies otherwise I never hear from her. Her premature daughter has several delays to include cerebral palsy and she also has a 1.5 year old boy. Shall I just assume she’s too busy for me or is she giving me the cold shoulder? What would you do?
Some people are just lazy, and/or forgetful, and/or don’t really understand the importance of reciprocation in a friendship.
I know it’s hard not to take personally, but I highly doubt that its an indication of her distaste for you. If she agrees to meet you and talk to you, then she clearly appreciates your company.
I would just try to talk to her about it, make her aware of what she’s doing and that you’d like it if she would try to arrange the outings sometimes or call first. There’s a possibility she might get defensive or offended as some people do when confronted about their weaknesses, but if you think her reaction will be manageable no matter what it is or that’s it worth the risk, I would urge confrontation. I would also just make it clear to her that you feel like she doesn’t really like you when she doesn’t make an effort to see or call you. That might make her more willing to compromise.
But even if “the talk” is not worth her initial reaction, just know that she probably isn’t doing this as a way of dropping you a hint to leave her alone. As others have said, if she truly disliked spending time with you, she wouldn’t agree to meet or talk with you over the phone.
Naruto’s Birthday [-Present]
